Run through the mental list: Diaper? No. Hungry? No. Teething? Possibly. Randomly cranky with no foreseeable resolution? Getting warmer.
Distract by walking outside.
Fix a Manhattan.
Sing a nursery rhyme.
Put the child down so he can bang his fists on the floor and get it out of his system.
Stare at him in disbelief.
Stare at your partner in disbelief.
Stare at your Manhattan in disbelief.
Cuddle the child. Maybe he’s hurt or in pain.
Hear your child scream all the louder because you accidentally squeezed him a little too hard.
Sit down with him.
Stand up with him.
Hand him a cracker. Peace in the universe at last.