May 28, 2014

choosing words that build my child's spirit

Last week I talked about how we can build (or break) our children's spirits by how we talk to them. I just wanted to mention one little thing that I'm trying to do and am doing occasionally in the moment. I am pointing out things I love about my son directly to him when I know he's listening.

For example, yesterday we were sitting at the table having dinner (I had to tell him it was a snack to get him to come and eat, but that's another post). He was near the end of eating and getting silly. We would smile at each other and he'd take another bite of something, making a bit of a game of it. At one point, I said "I love the way you smile, son. I just love that about you." He smiled even bigger.

Another time, he said "Bless you" in response to someone's sneeze. I remarked "That was very nice of you, son. I love the way you bless others."

I think I've done this maybe three times in the last few months, and I see a look on his face that I can't quite describe. It's like he's lifted up just a little, encouraged by sincere and positive feedback. It's not like this is rocket science. Positive is as positive does.

I just love feeling a new connection that comes with this little exchange of beauty in the moment.