July 24, 2013

if i could design my life however i want, i would...

That's usually how I try to answer the question of "I lost my job - now what?"

I mentioned last week how I was laid off after 3.5 intense years that saw me through our entire journey of miscarriages, infertility, depression, and finally parenthood. But now that this is gone, I don't think I want to go back to full-time. Not if I don't have to. Not if I have a choice. My unemployment benefits will be enough that I do have a choice, and can at least try to do something different.

One of my favorite bloggers has successfully made the transition to freelance writing with part-time daycare. I want that (I contracted for two years before my last job and I love, love, love it). So, we're retooling our old website into my personal portfolio and I'm putting out feelers to do contract or part-time work. I feel peace about this decision so I'll just keep moving toward this.

So often I tend to think in polar terms - it's either the right thing to do or the wrong thing - and I think I need a lightning bolt from God to tell me which way to go. But last Sunday's sermon (look for the 21 July posting which may not be up yet), a man's testimony about his journey through infertility and international adoption, shed new light on this and unraveled that knot for me. I'm sure that there are times when there is only one thing God wants me to choose, but other times - more often - the decision is mine to make and He's got my back. If I can't make a go of this within the year, I'll make a different choice. God's will is for me to trust him above everything else, and to keep my eyes on him while I navigate these choices.

In other news, can I just tell you how delighted I am that my son figured out how to put on his shoes? Granted, they're Crocs and he only had to slide his feet into them. But he's been trying to do this for several days, and the other night we saw him stand up and kind of walk stiff-legged like Frankenstein. It was pretty stinkin' cute. This morning he figured out how to hit a ball with a thick wooden massage tool that acted as a stick. I showed him how yesterday. Future golfer? Yeah, probably. ;)