teething hell part 2

Apparently Junior is breaking in his 2-year molars. I say this based on the record amount of drool, constant fussing and crying, slight fever the other day, an input from the daycare ladies. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he's gotten all the other teeth on a fairly rapid schedule.

Ugh. I was hoping for a longer reprieve from this, but as long as I know the enemy I can overcome it. My arsenal includes Advil, a mesh bag that I can put ice cubes in (a big hit), milk (sometimes that's all he wants at dinner time), distractions and more distractions (let's get the mail! walk outside! check out this toy!), and finally the patience that comes with knowing this too shall pass.

I have no idea how long these 2-year molars are supposed to take to come in, but I remember that the last few took weeks. Weeks.

Can I hope for a couple of weeks? Yeah, probably not...

random thoughts: why is my son licking the dining room floor?

Maybe it's time to mop. Maybe.

if i could design my life however i want, i would...

That's usually how I try to answer the question of "I lost my job - now what?"

I mentioned last week how I was laid off after 3.5 intense years that saw me through our entire journey of miscarriages, infertility, depression, and finally parenthood. But now that this is gone, I don't think I want to go back to full-time. Not if I don't have to. Not if I have a choice. My unemployment benefits will be enough that I do have a choice, and can at least try to do something different.

One of my favorite bloggers has successfully made the transition to freelance writing with part-time daycare. I want that (I contracted for two years before my last job and I love, love, love it). So, we're retooling our old website into my personal portfolio and I'm putting out feelers to do contract or part-time work. I feel peace about this decision so I'll just keep moving toward this.

So often I tend to think in polar terms - it's either the right thing to do or the wrong thing - and I think I need a lightning bolt from God to tell me which way to go. But last Sunday's sermon (look for the 21 July posting which may not be up yet), a man's testimony about his journey through infertility and international adoption, shed new light on this and unraveled that knot for me. I'm sure that there are times when there is only one thing God wants me to choose, but other times - more often - the decision is mine to make and He's got my back. If I can't make a go of this within the year, I'll make a different choice. God's will is for me to trust him above everything else, and to keep my eyes on him while I navigate these choices.

In other news, can I just tell you how delighted I am that my son figured out how to put on his shoes? Granted, they're Crocs and he only had to slide his feet into them. But he's been trying to do this for several days, and the other night we saw him stand up and kind of walk stiff-legged like Frankenstein. It was pretty stinkin' cute. This morning he figured out how to hit a ball with a thick wooden massage tool that acted as a stick. I showed him how yesterday. Future golfer? Yeah, probably. ;)

unemployment purgatory

That's what I call it, and it seems appropriate. I have no idea what direction I'll move in, and the best I can do is wait. Do some chores. Buff up my resume and online profile. Pray unceasingly. And wait.

I've started looking at potential jobs, and some seem at least a little promising. There's only one problem: these are full-time positions, and I've been working 32 hours per week (4 days) so I can spend an extra day with my son. So my choices are to work part-time (which won't pay much especially in my field), work full-time and ditch the extra day with my son (an undesirable sacrifice to say the least), or try to get contract work (unstable in the best of times). Or I could say to hell with it and become a stay-at-home mom (unlikely, to put it mildly).

How does a person choose from a pitchfork like that? Ugh.

oh fuuuuudge...

... as the immortalized A Christmas Story little boy says.

I got laid off today. No severance, no nothing. Just dropped off a cliff. It was a very positive conversation, and they've offered to give me letters of recommendation, but that's that. So I stopped at the grocery store on the way home ('cuz what else am I gonna do?) and what songs do I hear on the speakers? "Here Comes that Rainy Day Feelin' Again" and "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want to." Really? Really?... LOL 

Mostly I'm fine. My head is kind of spinning (no really, it is - I have a little stomach bug) and I'm in that nowhere zone. But you know what?

I've been through the hell of infertility, other layoffs, ruined relationships, and a handful of careers, and survived. This is a disappointment compared to that.

I'm not the director of my own life - that's God's job and he's way better at it than I am.

I have great friends, great praying friends, and great connections. After all, I have 15 years of communications experience to offer. I'm a great catch haha!

It's hard not to project, what with us getting ready to put the condo on the market and buy a house, the incredibly steep fee of daycare, blah blah.. Meh. It'll work out. It always does.

See? I'm already giving myself a pep talk, and I've barely sipped a glass of wine.

facing forward

I know you're not supposed to switch the car seat to forward-facing until they're two years old. But you gotta understand - my son wears a size 2T and he's at least the size of your average two-year-old. I checked the height requirements and he's very close. Plus, my husband plays rough enough with him on a regular basis that his neck has to be strong enough.

And then, this afternoon my mom went to put him in his car seat when he stood up in it and turned around to face forward, as if to say "I want to see where I'm going, Mommy!" I caved. I switched it around, and she graciously vacuumed the crunchy crusty stuff out of the car and car seat.

Another milestone. He was very happy as we drove home.

random thoughts: rush hour

My husband nudged me in bed this morning. "Hey, it's 7:40." BLAST OFF. You'd think a bomb went off and we were evacuating. Guess I'll set my alarm tomorrow.