spd and a new school

Let me start by saying last week blew green donkey chunks. My full-time job was wearing me to the bone, and my son was miserable on a regular basis. Then Wednesday, while I was supposed to be in an eight-hour meeting, the head teacher left me a voice mail. We need to talk, she said. He's become aggressive, rebellious, and doesn't listen to instruction. She didn't feel comfortable taking him on a field trip for fear he'd run in another direction. In tears, I called my husband and asked him to pull the boy out of school for the rest of the week. I declared a family emergency and headed for the school.

Within 15 minutes of my talk with the teacher, it became clear to me that the things we were doing to help him just weren't what he needed. What he needed was a different school. If his actions have been giving me information, the information is "I hate it here and I'll do whatever it takes to tell you!"

It broke our hearts and strained us to the point of breaking. My son has been with these lovely people since he was eight weeks old. In fact, everything was great until he walked (or rather refused to walk) into his most recent classroom -- a large preschool room with at least 15 kids and oodles of play stations. It was a bit louder, a bit more structured, and a lot more than he could handle. Sensory overload.

By Friday afternoon, we had toured and decided to move the boy to a Montessori school within walking distance of home. More than one therapist has told us that Montessori schools may not be a good match for a kid with sensory processing disorder because it's less rigidly structured, but it depends highly on the child and the individual school. We talked at length with the director about our son's struggles, and learned that they are well-versed in bringing in kids with similar issues. We came away feeling like they could offer him just enough freedom and individual attention to get what he needs when he needs it.

Today is Day 4 in his new school, and he LOVES it. I mean, we look at our son as if he's a different person. We are continuing his SPD therapy, of course, and he's still human with struggles and moods. But he is remarkably happy. What more can a parent ask for?

sensory processing disorder

First, someone said my son is hyperactive. The term ADHD was tossed around (really? at two years old?). Our parenting techniques were judged. Then the boy's teachers remarked on his increasing aggressiveness, and we certainly noticed it too so we banned the phrase "Star Wars" from our house.

Then, after a month of hell in his new preschool class, the head teacher had a long talk with us and mentioned words like sensory processing issues, spectrum, and diagnosis. It's a Christian school and I asked her to pray for me. I continued praying and waiting for God to show me what to do.

This morning, my husband and I got the results of a sensory processing disorder (SPD) test that we took our son to last week, and oh boy is it positive (pun intended). It's also apparently a growing trend (it's commonly first detected in three to four year olds), and is often misdiagnosed and unnecessarily medicated.

What is SPD? Think of your senses as buckets. If you get too much in one bucket, you feel overloaded, and if you don't get enough in another bucket you do your best to fill it whatever way you can. Most people can filter sensory information with no problem, but others have bigger buckets for some senses (they want more) and smaller buckets for others (they get overloaded fast).

Our son has sensory over-responsivity (SOR), and to a lesser extent sensory seeking/craving (SC). With SOR, he gets overwhelmed fast by sensory stimulation (loud noises, unfamiliar situations, etc.), and it triggers a fight response - like a tiger cub (he has red hair so it's pretty fitting). With SC, he craves jumping around and touching everything and everyone (I called him a space invader).

The diagnosis found, our next step is weekly occupational therapy which we start tomorrow. It happens to be just a few blocks away from home.

We're still questioning whether a different school like Montessori could be a better fit, but right now the therapy is more important. He needs help getting confidence and strength in these areas so he can handle transitions and unfamiliar situations, so we're going to do the therapy for at least a month before we consider moving him to another school (another huge transition).

If information is power, I finally don't feel so weak.