1 thing i wish we DID bring on our toddler road trip

The other day I outlined 7 things that made our toddler road trip great. As soon as it went live, I realized I left something out: the one thing i wish we DID bring on our toddler road trip.

Oh, we forgot things. Okay, I forgot things. In fact, I forgot a whole bag of things -- books, good instant coffee, an extra cup and plate for the boy, snack pouches I'd bought specifically for the trip to offset the endless parade of junk and restaurant food... sigh. Whatever. We lived.

Ironically, that bag also included a book called "The Family Traveler's Handbook." Ahem.

What I really could have used was a frigging night light.

How annoying is it to sleep in a hotel and turn on that gawd-awful fluourescent bathroom light at 3 a.m.? Not to mention the horror of accidentally looking at myself in the mirror at that dreaded hour.

Note to self. I'm putting one in my travel toiletry back tonight for our next trip (though a next trip isn't even on the radar for the next half year or more).

7 things that made our toddler road trip great

5 days, 2 hotels, 1 car. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? It actually wasn't. A learning experience, to be sure, with lessons I'll carry with me long into the future.

We drove with my mom two states away for a family reunion, arriving early to spend time with my brother and his sons (hence the second hotel). I don't think my son has ever eaten in so many restaurants in so few days, and for the most part he was pretty well-behaved. I even learned how to change a blowout in a dirty, cramped bathroom with him standing up! I felt like I was earning my stripes at times, but those moments were rare. We all enjoyed each other's company immensely, especially the boy who is a born extrovert and loves loves loves people.

The first hotel we stayed in had adjoining rooms for us and my mom. She stayed in the single king room, we took the double queen. We had the boy sleep in one bed with a border of pillows around him, while we slept in the other. And -- miracle of miracles -- he slept! The first night he woke up and cried a bit, but I shushed him back to sleep quickly. No big deal. In fact, it was nice to sleep in the same room and see him wake up smiling at us. Letting him go bug Grandma while I was showering was a big plus too.

The second place we stayed was a rustic duplex-style cabin -- the four of us stayed in one, and my brother and nephews stayed in the other. With 3 bedrooms in each, there was plenty of room to spread out (despite sharing one bathroom). The boy contented himself exploring the rooms, the grass, the people, the dirt, and anything else that looked appealing to a 2 year old.

While the trip wasn't completely devoid of minor temper tantrums and such, it was far more successful than it could have been. That said, here are 7 things that made our toddler road trip great.

1. Sitting in the back seat with the child. He gets bored just like anyone else, so having my mom along on the way up was a godsend! Six hours in the car with only two extended stops for lunch and playtime was a good balance. He was so excited he didn't even nap until we were almost at our destination. On the way home, I sat in the back seat with him. We only stopped once, since he actually took a 2 hour nap.
2. New toys, wrapped as presents. Just simple things -- a couple of new cars, a couple of books (I brought the tablet with new games and we never even used it) -- and a new backpack for them.
3. Old favorites. We brought two lovies and a plush puppy that he adores. Comfort objects made a big difference, especially at bedtime.
4. His comforter. One more comfort object.
5. Flexible bedtime. I'm usually a stickler on this one, but letting him stay up just half an hour later practically guaranteed an easy bedtime and good night's sleep. I gave him every opportunity for a solid nap, but didn't stress if he didn't sleep his normal amount.
6. Play Doh. Not in the car, of course. But during some down time or when he was getting bored at the hotel, this was perfect.
7. Prayer. I do believe that God answered my prayers for a successful trip and gave me peace. And even though my brother, cousin and I came down with a stomach bug at the end, it was really great.

3 lessons learned on our first toddler road trip

Sunday we drove to Glenwood Springs -- a mountain town about 2.5 hours away -- to wet our feet in the wonderful world of road tripping with a toddler. I'm sorry, did that sound sarcastic? It's not. Entirely.

This was a test. A test of our ability to get away for a weekend as a family. A test to see how the boy would do in a longer car trip. A warm-up to a much longer car trip coming in August.

The result? Not bad. Plenty of good things. And enough lessons learned to make the next one easier. After all, it was only one night and even if we didn't get 5 minutes of sleep it wouldn't take a week to recover. By the time we got home, we felt closer and more competent as a family. Like, Okay, we can do this!

The drive out was pretty non-eventful. After 1.5 hours of driving (and after the boy napped a little), we stopped for gas and food, and took this to a nearby playground so he could work out some energy. Unfortunately, this was cut short by a lightning storm, so we finished our fries in the car on the way to the hotel.

Once we were checked in, we headed to the indoor pool for recreation. After that, it was showers and relaxing in the room followed by our search for dinner downtown. We found a casual place with a 15-minute wait. I waited with the boy outside so he could run around. But by the time our table was almost ready, we decided it was too raucus and noisy (most were watching the big soccer game) so we walked down to another quieter establishment. The boy was still bursting with toddler energy, so despite the fact that we got seated right away, we decided this place was too quiet for us. What was just right? Getting pizza to go and eating in the hotel room.

• Toddler road trip lesson #1: if your kid has been in the car for half a day or at least 2 hours, assume you will not be able to sit in a restaurant for dinner.

Our next challenge was getting our son to sleep in a queen bed surrounded by pillows. Until then, he'd never been in anything but a crib or toddler bed, so I was um... panicky skeptical. But I took DH's lead and we followed through with it. Did he fall asleep? Yes -- after an hour of tuck-in time and negotiation and drinks of water until he was too tired to fight it. Did he wake up? Yes. About 1 a.m., DH went into his room and decided to sleep with him so he'd settle down. I dozed in and out until I couldn't take the encroaching daylight at 6:00. The boy got up at nearly 7:00, and DH had the gall to sleep another half hour.

• Toddler road trip lesson #2: assume it will take you at least one hour to put your kid to bed after a day on the road, because it will not be the same as his bed at home. And don't plan on him staying there.

Despite our poor night's sleep, we were all in a good mood. We ate breakfast in the lobby, then walked around outside so the boy could watch some construction workers and a garbage truck worker. There is no better entertainment! After we checked out, we headed to another playground to give our son plenty of time to get himself worn out before the trip home.

He did reasonably well on the trip home, but for some reason I had neglected to pack any toys for him - just a couple stuffed toys and his favorite blankie. So I bought him a Matchbox food truck at the grocery store before we headed out. Worked like a charm for only 99 cents. We even stopped for ice cream about 30 minutes from home, which was a fun diversion and his first experience with an ice cream cone. That was a sweet moment!

• Toddler road trip lesson #3: toys. Just bring 'em.

I don't plan on bringing a ton of toys on the next trip, but I will remember the rules of airplane flying with toddlers: new toys, new books, old favorites, and room for more.

home is where your stuff is

That's what an old friend of ours used to say. And it's true, isn't it? Yes, I can be anywhere with my family and be at home, but I'd rather be at home with my family. Ha!

The hotel stay has been okay - not nightmarish, just not home. But the good news is that the contractor is working at lightning speed and we'll be able to go home tomorrow instead of Sunday. Two days early! Yippee!

This morning, the boy woke us up with a loud "HEY!" It was 5:45. For the love. He's been having a blast, happily exploring every crevasse of the hotel room. We've made use of the pool, too - not because we don't have one at home, but because this one is indoors so it's less of a hassle. I don't have to worry about dousing him in sunscreen, which is nice since he was born with that super fair skin that comes with red hair and a Viking lineage.

I stopped at home this morning to grab something and water the plants, and I have to admit that the new floor (even though the old one was less than two years old) looks even better. I glanced at the bedroom, and thought "Good grief - didn't we even bother to make the bed? What slobs..." I otherwise ignored the tornado disaster that it looks like now. They haven't replaced the carpet yet - I guess that happens today.

I know that a massive mess waits for us, but I don't care. It's one day at a time, one dusty surface at a time. This has been a decent experience, and a learning one, and I'll be really glad to get home.

moving out for a week sucks

A month or so ago, our water heater went out in spectacular fashion. Today, we checked into a hotel for six nights while the contractor replaces all of the flooring except the kitchen and bathrooms.

If you've ever moved, you know it sucks.

If you've ever moved out temporarily, you know it sucks all the more because you'll have to move back in to put your enormous amount of crap back into the same cramped little space and live with it some more.

For someone who's getting most of this paid for by insurance, you'd think I would be giddy with gratitude. Don't get me wrong - I'm definitely grateful. We'd never be able to shuck out the bucks for this otherwise (well, we wouldn't want to anyway). But holy crap, this has been hard.

We've been living in this condo for 10 full years. That's plenty of time to accumulate stuff no matter who you are. Insert a new family member, and suddenly you get clever and creative about repurposing or storing the things you really don't want to part with until you forget just how much you have.

Until the day you have to make the space ready for carpet replacement.

We gotta move. BAD.

Over the weekend, we boxed up stuff from bookshelves, end tables, and other surfaces so the workers can just shuffle them around. Then we had to pack up our own clothes and whatnot for a week's vacation. Only it's not a vacation.

By the end of today, I was drop-dead exhausted. The boy has been on pretty good behavior, thankfully, and was tired enough to go down at 6:30. I can only hope he sleeps well, as the hotel could only supply us with a pack and play - which would be fine if he weren't the size of your average two-year-old. So I rented a crib online and it'll get here tomorrow. Oh well. You gotta do what you gotta do.

When it's all over, the place will look really nice and it will take us one step closer to finally, FINALLY  putting the place on the market this fall (more on that later). So the effort is definitely worth it. Could they not have scheduled it the week of my cycle though? That would have been nice, but they didn't consult me.

My dear husband got takeout for us tonight, which we ate after the boy ate his "dinner" - cheese, crunchies, mandarin oranges, and milk (he wasn't interested in the pouch or it might have been a complete meal). Once all that was done, I realized something. We have a tub. A big, wonderful tub just waiting to be filled with hot water for soaking my tired old ass. And so I did. And it was fabulous.

I love soaking my head, and our water heater  at home craps out before I can fill the tub so I don't bother. I haven't had a tub soak since early December, which is a crying shame because it's one of the few truly relaxing activities that I love dearly. I used to head to the local hot springs for a good soak, but that was years ago, before the pregnancies, and I haven't made the journey since. I think they require bathing suits now because somebody violated the no-romancing rule, so it's a bit less appealing. I prefer to soak without such encumbrances.

I will not let tonight be the last night I soak in this hotel tub. It is one more big thing to be grateful for.

our anniversary and my reality check

This past weekend, my husband and I spent a day and two nights in Manitou Springs, Colorado. We stayed in an old, fully restored hotel and had a junior suite. The Cliff House is beautiful, and I definitely recommend it! My mom, God bless her, took care of the boy so we could celebrate our 12^th anniversary.

We decided to do something neither of us has done: drive to the top of Pikes Peak, one of many fourteeners in Colorado (a fourteener is a mountain taller than 14,000 feet).

It was a beautiful day and a beautiful drive, and I was driving. Once we got above treeline, however, my perception started to change. It looked like we were driving alongside a cliff of rocks on one side and complete oblivion on the other, with nothing to keep us from driving off the cliff to our deaths. Observe (sorry about the clunky format, and notice the port-a-potties strategically located just in case you're about to wet your pants haha!):

It’s hard to get across what it looked like, but it doesn't matter. What happened was that I had a major panic attack. Palms sweated, heart raced, hands shook, and I wanted to cry. I pulled over. We tried to go on with my husband driving, but I couldn't shake the feeling no matter how much I used logic to try and convince myself it was no big deal. We had to turn around, with my tail tucked in. I already know that when the boy is old enough, we’ll try it again – even if I have to sit in the back seat blindfolded haha!

But the whole thing threw me off kilter. I thought I was over the acrophobia thing, based on my experience of being delivered from fear. Apparently not. Now I need to get back on the hobby horse and try again. In a few years. When I'm not driving. If I can wait that long.

Other than that, we had a great time just being and enjoying our married selves. But we missed the boy quite a bit - happy hour was spent scrolling through the past year's photos of him while enjoying a beer before dinner. It's all good.

what a long, wonderful trip it was

We just spent five days and nights in southern California, visiting friends and family (I grew up there). I think this was an excellent study in reality vs. fear of the unknown. I’m always afraid the worst will happen when we travel or do something out of the ordinary, and I’m almost always pleasantly surprised and feel a bit silly for worrying so much. Almost.

I booked our trip months in advance – at first it was seven nights, but after a couple of months I had a crisis of conscience (I knew we’d be sleeping in a double bed and sharing the small bedroom with the boy), and reduced our stay to five nights. Boy am I glad I did – my son came down with an ear infection and we were in the doctor’s office on the day when we were originally scheduled to leave.

Then I worried about where my son would sleep. I found a service online that rents everything you can think of to make your baby or toddler comfortable – so I booked a crib and a changing table (since Junior is fond of flipping around like a fish out of water during changing times). I booked a rental car and a car seat so we wouldn’t be burdened with carrying it around the airport.

All I can say is, holy shit it’s expensive to travel with a little one. But they aren’t little for long. Next time I think I’ll bite the bullet and haul the car seat with us to save $65. That thing was definitely road-tested and I don’t think he was very comfortable in it.

Teething was another issue. He’s breaking in the last lower canine, and I had forgotten to pack teething gel or something to chew on. I did, however, have plenty of baby ibuprofen on hand which saved our sanity. Good thing they have stores in CA.

Despite the teething, expenses, and ear infection we had to deal with, we had a wonderful time. The boy slept great for the most part (we kind of ignored him when he started babbling at 5 a.m.), and we spent our days watching him soak up the generous affection of grandparents, cousins, and other relatives that took to him as quickly as he took to them. It was a beautiful thing, really.

One of the highlights was introducing him to his cousin who was born through the miracle of IUI about 12 hours before him. Seeing those boys together felt like a dream, like God was just beaming a big smile on our whole family and laughing at their antics along with us. (Until I told my aunt and uncle we were pregnant, we had no idea their son and his wife had endured infertility issues - imagine our shock in realizing our somewhat parallel journeys to parenthood!)

Like all trips, we were grateful to get home and everyone went to bed early that evening. And, like all time spent with family, we felt the pang that comes with the understanding that we all live so scattered from each other (except for my mom, and we thank God every day she’s here). The good thing is, we’re all about a two-hour plane ride from each other so it’s not too hard to book a visit.

Now we just need a big enough house to give them an incentive to come see us.

The day before we left, my stepmom gently asked if we’d be having another baby (can’t blame her for hoping). I affectionately looked my dad in the eye and said “There isn’t enough wine or coffee in the world, Dad. Sorry.” We honestly think we’re just too freaking old – starting a family after 40 is really, really, REALLY tiring – instead, we’re packing our son’s life (and ours) with playdates, church friends, and a really great daycare that we hope will become his school later on.  And, when he’s potty trained, probably a dog.

Here's one of my favorite photos taken on the trip. We went for a walk in a park surrounded by old oak trees, and he's wearing a t-shirt with a cape that the grandfolks bought him - it's so cute I can't stand it! There's something so adorable about this shot, something about boyhood and fatherhood that I can't quite put my finger on. I love it.

joyful exhaustion, or being mindful of today

Holiday Season 2012 has officially folded, and ushered in 2013. It has been one mind-blowing year. 

I gave birth to our one (and probably only) child. Changed jobs (at the same company). Learned the ropes of daycare, weaning, and multitasking like I've never done before in my life. Embraced many visiting relatives (and went to visit some over Christmas). And generally tried to figure out what life as a wife and mother looks like. 

Honestly, Christmas was an exhausting blur. We flew to Texas and stayed with DH's brother, SIL, and niece. We visited with them plus our son's grandmother, grandfather and step-grandmother. We made some new food discoveries, too: Turns out he loves stewed meat and veggies (the real thing), hates baby food unless it's fruity, and really loves chomping down dried seaweed snacks. Seriously - you must try this on your babe sometime. It's super healthy. I can give him a small sheet to take apart, though it's a bit tidier if I break it up into 1-inch chunks. He also enjoys whole wheat sandwiches filled with cheese or cream cheese. Plus, he's finally mastered the sippy cup.

Sure, it was cool watching my 10-month old son and his 3-year old cousin interact, but we also spent more of our time managing him instead of visiting like I had hoped (not sure what I was thinking there). And my SIL spent most of her time in the kitchen cooking, while my BIL was working 2 of the 4 days we were there. Also got our first taste of traveling with the boy, which even though it wasn’t horrible it was certainly challenging in its own way. We came back with the boy sick with a big cold and DH coming down with bronchitis. Fun. 

We did manage to get out for a few hours yesterday evening to join friends for dinner – other than that it was the three of us. Together. For almost two weeks. With a baby that suddenly crawls 100 mph, refuses to nap properly and entertain himself, and is recovering from a nasty cold. I was ready to pull my hair out.

DH and I talked about how incredibly exhausting it is right now, with our son so full of energy and getting into everything we don't want him to get into about every 45 seconds. And he's starting to prop himself up on his feet, which means walking (and running away from us) isn't far behind. 

If I sound like I'm complaining, well... partly. But I'm also excited to see him approach the next big milestone, and he's really happy and full of energy every day - even when he's clearly not feeling well. He's just a good baby who loves people, eats well and usually sleeps very well. 

If I'm honest, though, I have to admit that I think my current level of exhaustion has a lot to do with my age and only some to do with the challenges of my son's age. It's making me wonder how other 40-plus new moms deal with this. Energy - this kind of energy - doesn't come in a can. Ya gotta dig deep! 

As much as I have tried to focus on the birth of our Saviour - and I have - I've also had really big things in front of me that demanded my attention. Oh well. Such is the life.

I literally pray for supernatural strength on a regular basis, and I marvel at how I am doing as well as I am! God is good and faithful, and I know he didn't lead me to this just to watch me collapse into a state of mental mush. 

2013 will be another transforming year: my son will become a toddler, we'll probably travel again (with some hard-learned lessons under our belt), and Christmas will be even more wondrous because he'll be able to appreciate what's going on.

In the meantime, I have to remind myself to embrace today. Right now, my son is a baby who needs my direction as he figures out how his body works and discovers everything in the world around him. Right now, he drinks formula four times a day and isn't ready for a lot of solid food beyond the easily-mushable stuff. Right now, he's crawling and just starting to stand well. 

Right now is happening right now. Don't miss it.

fear of flying

I’m not sure why, but I’m dreading our upcoming flight to Dallas for Christmas.

Okay, I might know a few reasons beginning with my past experiences witnessing others flying with babies. They are mostly not positive ones with wailing children and their horrified, exhausted parents who are the first to board, take the longest to get settled, and are the last to drag themselves out of the plane like haggard old pirates emerging from a dark cave that never found the hidden treasure. I avoided them as much as possible before I became a parent. Now I’m about to become one of them.

So there’s that. And, since I’ve worked so hard at establishing and maintaining my sweet son’s sleep schedule, I’m sure this trip will blow it out of the water. What with relatives, airplanes, security, big liquid containers, a makeshift crib-type bed in the same room as us along with a white noise machine, relatives, visiting and eating and drinking and sleeping… and relatives. What could go wrong? (insert hysterical, buggy-eyed, strait-jacketed laughter)

I think the babe will be wide-eyed with joyous wonder at the airport and on the airplane, since he’s such a social bee and loves people so much. On the advice of my sister in law, I booked our flights near his naptime in the hopes that he’ll comply and nap on the plane. No, it’s not the worst thing that could happen if he doesn’t sleep. But the minute we land he’ll be on his tippy toes playing with Grandma and being loved, cuddled, and pampered as any baby should be – which will be wonderful as long as I can get him down at a reasonable time.

The makeshift sleeping arrangements have me wondering which I’d rather pack – Benadryl (for him) or earplugs (for me)? I’ve been looking at those travel cribs (not the recalled ones) and wondering if that’s the way to go – mostly because we’re planning at least one more flight before he turns 2. Or maybe it's not worth it, and I don't give my baby credit for being adaptable.

To allay my fears, I’ve started trolling baby travel websites to see what I can do to prepare and avoid the worst. Now that I’m feeling a bit more mentally prepared, I’m fairly confident we can ride it out and I’m probably making it worse in my head. 

Probably.

Then again, maybe he won’t sleep on the plane, won’t settle in a foreign house, will be overstimulated by relatives, and will be cranky as hell which means we sure as hell won’t get any sleep for the four nights we’ll be there which will pretty much mean the end of all sanity.

Probably.