After weeks of planning, poring over their website, researching and measuring, I made my list and made the pilgrimage to IKEA yesterday. I call it a pilgrimage because it's on the far side of town, and the massive structure requires as much forethought and planning as a week-long vacation. Especially since I was bringing my toddler with me. To help me with my list and my toddler, I asked my mother to join us. She's awesome that way.
IKEA is kind of amazing. They have genius-designed products that they manufacture as cheaply as possible, and as a result I am finding new ways to organize my home even while I ask myself "Which one of these shelves looks the least like dorm room furniture?" And to me, an organized home is an organized life, and is thus less stressful which makes motherhood just a bit easier. I have yet to understand why they sell fabric by the yard in patterns of stick people kissing, but that's beside the point.
IKEA also makes me laugh -- they're the only retailer the size of an airport located in a suburb with massive McMansions that specializes in showing us how to organize 300 square-foot houses. But hey, they've convinced me that I'm in love with cubbies and bins.
Since they have designed their showrooms and walkthroughs like wandering paths through forests of immaculate retail wonderlands, and purposely make my shopping take 5 times longer than it should, they've thoughtfully included amenities to make my toddler happy: Shopping carts that spin in circles, a cafeteria with fries and meatballs served with jam, a toy area meant to be played in so my son can soil his diaper in front of everyone (which is also thoughtfully close to the restrooms), and random bins of stuffed toys to give him some eye candy while I'm eyeballing bathroom fixtures.
Now that I've figured out their game, and found websites showing me how to hack their products into unheard-of new uses, I came armed yesterday. I spinned my son in the cart, plied him with as many snacks as he wanted (even gum or mints), and most importantly I kept moving. What I ended up with was a fairly well-behaved kid who helped by putting items in the cart for me and was too distracted to throw fits. Heck, he even had a real conversation with the woman behind us in line.
Showing posts with label spending time together. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spending time together. Show all posts
December 29, 2014
November 17, 2014
my son's questions at age 2
After church yesterday, my son was very chatty in the car and started asking me some questions.
"Mommy? Do we eat trees and leaves?"
"No, we don't eat trees and leaves. But some animals do."
"Oh.... Do we eat plants?"
"Yes, we eat lots of plants."
"Do we eat animals?"
"Yes, we eat animals. But only some of them."
(pause)
"Do we eat Daddies?"
"Uh... no. We do not eat Daddies."
"Mommy? Do we eat trees and leaves?"
"No, we don't eat trees and leaves. But some animals do."
"Oh.... Do we eat plants?"
"Yes, we eat lots of plants."
"Do we eat animals?"
"Yes, we eat animals. But only some of them."
(pause)
"Do we eat Daddies?"
"Uh... no. We do not eat Daddies."
August 18, 2014
7 things that made our toddler road trip great
5 days, 2 hotels, 1 car. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? It actually wasn't. A learning experience, to be sure, with lessons I'll carry with me long into the future.
We drove with my mom two states away for a family reunion, arriving early to spend time with my brother and his sons (hence the second hotel). I don't think my son has ever eaten in so many restaurants in so few days, and for the most part he was pretty well-behaved. I even learned how to change a blowout in a dirty, cramped bathroom with him standing up! I felt like I was earning my stripes at times, but those moments were rare. We all enjoyed each other's company immensely, especially the boy who is a born extrovert and loves loves loves people.
The first hotel we stayed in had adjoining rooms for us and my mom. She stayed in the single king room, we took the double queen. We had the boy sleep in one bed with a border of pillows around him, while we slept in the other. And -- miracle of miracles -- he slept! The first night he woke up and cried a bit, but I shushed him back to sleep quickly. No big deal. In fact, it was nice to sleep in the same room and see him wake up smiling at us. Letting him go bug Grandma while I was showering was a big plus too.
The second place we stayed was a rustic duplex-style cabin -- the four of us stayed in one, and my brother and nephews stayed in the other. With 3 bedrooms in each, there was plenty of room to spread out (despite sharing one bathroom). The boy contented himself exploring the rooms, the grass, the people, the dirt, and anything else that looked appealing to a 2 year old.
While the trip wasn't completely devoid of minor temper tantrums and such, it was far more successful than it could have been. That said, here are 7 things that made our toddler road trip great.
We drove with my mom two states away for a family reunion, arriving early to spend time with my brother and his sons (hence the second hotel). I don't think my son has ever eaten in so many restaurants in so few days, and for the most part he was pretty well-behaved. I even learned how to change a blowout in a dirty, cramped bathroom with him standing up! I felt like I was earning my stripes at times, but those moments were rare. We all enjoyed each other's company immensely, especially the boy who is a born extrovert and loves loves loves people.
The first hotel we stayed in had adjoining rooms for us and my mom. She stayed in the single king room, we took the double queen. We had the boy sleep in one bed with a border of pillows around him, while we slept in the other. And -- miracle of miracles -- he slept! The first night he woke up and cried a bit, but I shushed him back to sleep quickly. No big deal. In fact, it was nice to sleep in the same room and see him wake up smiling at us. Letting him go bug Grandma while I was showering was a big plus too.
The second place we stayed was a rustic duplex-style cabin -- the four of us stayed in one, and my brother and nephews stayed in the other. With 3 bedrooms in each, there was plenty of room to spread out (despite sharing one bathroom). The boy contented himself exploring the rooms, the grass, the people, the dirt, and anything else that looked appealing to a 2 year old.
While the trip wasn't completely devoid of minor temper tantrums and such, it was far more successful than it could have been. That said, here are 7 things that made our toddler road trip great.
- Sitting in the back seat with the child. He gets bored just like anyone else, so having my mom along on the way up was a godsend! Six hours in the car with only two extended stops for lunch and playtime was a good balance. He was so excited he didn't even nap until we were almost at our destination. On the way home, I sat in the back seat with him. We only stopped once, since he actually took a 2 hour nap.
- New toys, wrapped as presents. Just simple things -- a couple of new cars, a couple of books (I brought the tablet with new games and we never even used it) -- and a new backpack for them.
- Old favorites. We brought two lovies and a plush puppy that he adores. Comfort objects made a big difference, especially at bedtime.
- His comforter. One more comfort object.
- Flexible bedtime. I'm usually a stickler on this one, but letting him stay up just half an hour later practically guaranteed an easy bedtime and good night's sleep. I gave him every opportunity for a solid nap, but didn't stress if he didn't sleep his normal amount.
- Play Doh. Not in the car, of course. But during some down time or when he was getting bored at the hotel, this was perfect.
- Prayer. I do believe that God answered my prayers for a successful trip and gave me peace. And even though my brother, cousin and I came down with a stomach bug at the end, it was really great.
August 4, 2014
I turned 45 and didn't take a single picture of my son or me
You might think I'd want to immortalize the occasion, but it just didn't work out that way. It was a simple day that included church, a nap, and comfort food surrounded by loved ones.
We joined family and friends at a restaurant that specializes in overweight-family-style eating with endless side dishes and generous heaps of fried hushpuppies. My husband described the ambience as "Disneyland and a retirement home had a baby." It's big, country-thematic, inexpensive, and super entertaining if you're under 5 -- which, HELLO, is exactly the reason I picked it!
Seriously, when we were ushered to our table we passed by an area with a sign declaring it an "adults only section." As if it were some animal exhibit at the zoo. "Ooh, look at all the childless diners... how sad and quiet they look..." Not like the screaming-tasmanian-devil-toddler-section wecontributed to sat in.
Most of us ordered the fried chicken, while my mom broke the spell with liver & onions. I had hoped to convince the boy of the wonders of fried chicken and gravy-slathered mashed potatoes. What did he do with a chicken leg? Stabbed and dismembered it with a toothpick flag and straw, then declared he was "all done." The chicken certainly was. Oh well -- at least he enjoyed playing with ice cubes and straws. I made a point to smile and thank him, more than once, for being a good boy in the restaurant. It seemed to help. I'm still working on the positive-reinforcement tactic.
After we ate, we strolled down the hallway and came across a theatrical display of googly-eyed plush chickens sitting atop hay bales, automated to talk and sing songs. My son, because he is under 5, LOVED it. He danced to the music, stared open-mouthed at the talking chickens, and could only be lured away with the promise of buying treasure with the wooden nickel our server gave him. What did I do? I stood next to him, dancing along with him, beaming with joyous pride and hilarity at our little moment together. And although I thought about it, I did not whip out my phone and take a photo or video. I allowed that time to absorb me, deeply imbedding the sweetness of its beautiful memory like honey poured over hot biscuits.
Although I don't put a big priority on presents, my family chose to bless me with some special ones. My husband gave me a lovely, purse-sized day planner (partly in response to my failing mommy brain) and brought me a glass of champagne along with my own happy-birthday-cupcake while he sang to me. My mother gave me a big, glass rooster to decorate a different spot in my kitchen since the last one met an untimely demise, having crashed to its death from its perch in the window sill. My friend, knowing something of my heart's desires, gave me two journals; a directive journaling book and a songwriter's journal (more on that another day). And my other friend gave me an adorably girlie cut-glass bowl with butterflies christening the edge.
We joined family and friends at a restaurant that specializes in overweight-family-style eating with endless side dishes and generous heaps of fried hushpuppies. My husband described the ambience as "Disneyland and a retirement home had a baby." It's big, country-thematic, inexpensive, and super entertaining if you're under 5 -- which, HELLO, is exactly the reason I picked it!
Seriously, when we were ushered to our table we passed by an area with a sign declaring it an "adults only section." As if it were some animal exhibit at the zoo. "Ooh, look at all the childless diners... how sad and quiet they look..." Not like the screaming-tasmanian-devil-toddler-section we
Most of us ordered the fried chicken, while my mom broke the spell with liver & onions. I had hoped to convince the boy of the wonders of fried chicken and gravy-slathered mashed potatoes. What did he do with a chicken leg? Stabbed and dismembered it with a toothpick flag and straw, then declared he was "all done." The chicken certainly was. Oh well -- at least he enjoyed playing with ice cubes and straws. I made a point to smile and thank him, more than once, for being a good boy in the restaurant. It seemed to help. I'm still working on the positive-reinforcement tactic.
After we ate, we strolled down the hallway and came across a theatrical display of googly-eyed plush chickens sitting atop hay bales, automated to talk and sing songs. My son, because he is under 5, LOVED it. He danced to the music, stared open-mouthed at the talking chickens, and could only be lured away with the promise of buying treasure with the wooden nickel our server gave him. What did I do? I stood next to him, dancing along with him, beaming with joyous pride and hilarity at our little moment together. And although I thought about it, I did not whip out my phone and take a photo or video. I allowed that time to absorb me, deeply imbedding the sweetness of its beautiful memory like honey poured over hot biscuits.
Some moments are so precious that to preserve them artificially is to diminish their value.Well, my husband did take a photo of us from behind, unbeknownst to me. But the moment is still mine.
Although I don't put a big priority on presents, my family chose to bless me with some special ones. My husband gave me a lovely, purse-sized day planner (partly in response to my failing mommy brain) and brought me a glass of champagne along with my own happy-birthday-cupcake while he sang to me. My mother gave me a big, glass rooster to decorate a different spot in my kitchen since the last one met an untimely demise, having crashed to its death from its perch in the window sill. My friend, knowing something of my heart's desires, gave me two journals; a directive journaling book and a songwriter's journal (more on that another day). And my other friend gave me an adorably girlie cut-glass bowl with butterflies christening the edge.
June 26, 2014
3 lessons learned on our first toddler road trip
Sunday we drove to Glenwood Springs -- a mountain town about 2.5 hours away -- to wet our feet in the wonderful world of road tripping with a toddler. I'm sorry, did that sound sarcastic? It's not. Entirely.
This was a test. A test of our ability to get away for a weekend as a family. A test to see how the boy would do in a longer car trip. A warm-up to a much longer car trip coming in August.
The result? Not bad. Plenty of good things. And enough lessons learned to make the next one easier. After all, it was only one night and even if we didn't get 5 minutes of sleep it wouldn't take a week to recover. By the time we got home, we felt closer and more competent as a family. Like, Okay, we can do this!
The drive out was pretty non-eventful. After 1.5 hours of driving (and after the boy napped a little), we stopped for gas and food, and took this to a nearby playground so he could work out some energy. Unfortunately, this was cut short by a lightning storm, so we finished our fries in the car on the way to the hotel.
Once we were checked in, we headed to the indoor pool for recreation. After that, it was showers and relaxing in the room followed by our search for dinner downtown. We found a casual place with a 15-minute wait. I waited with the boy outside so he could run around. But by the time our table was almost ready, we decided it was too raucus and noisy (most were watching the big soccer game) so we walked down to another quieter establishment. The boy was still bursting with toddler energy, so despite the fact that we got seated right away, we decided this place was too quiet for us. What was just right? Getting pizza to go and eating in the hotel room.
panicky skeptical. But I took DH's lead and we followed through with it. Did he fall asleep? Yes -- after an hour of tuck-in time and negotiation and drinks of water until he was too tired to fight it. Did he wake up? Yes. About 1 a.m., DH went into his room and decided to sleep with him so he'd settle down. I dozed in and out until I couldn't take the encroaching daylight at 6:00. The boy got up at nearly 7:00, and DH had the gall to sleep another half hour.
He did reasonably well on the trip home, but for some reason I had neglected to pack any toys for him - just a couple stuffed toys and his favorite blankie. So I bought him a Matchbox food truck at the grocery store before we headed out. Worked like a charm for only 99 cents. We even stopped for ice cream about 30 minutes from home, which was a fun diversion and his first experience with an ice cream cone. That was a sweet moment!
This was a test. A test of our ability to get away for a weekend as a family. A test to see how the boy would do in a longer car trip. A warm-up to a much longer car trip coming in August.
The result? Not bad. Plenty of good things. And enough lessons learned to make the next one easier. After all, it was only one night and even if we didn't get 5 minutes of sleep it wouldn't take a week to recover. By the time we got home, we felt closer and more competent as a family. Like, Okay, we can do this!
The drive out was pretty non-eventful. After 1.5 hours of driving (and after the boy napped a little), we stopped for gas and food, and took this to a nearby playground so he could work out some energy. Unfortunately, this was cut short by a lightning storm, so we finished our fries in the car on the way to the hotel.
Once we were checked in, we headed to the indoor pool for recreation. After that, it was showers and relaxing in the room followed by our search for dinner downtown. We found a casual place with a 15-minute wait. I waited with the boy outside so he could run around. But by the time our table was almost ready, we decided it was too raucus and noisy (most were watching the big soccer game) so we walked down to another quieter establishment. The boy was still bursting with toddler energy, so despite the fact that we got seated right away, we decided this place was too quiet for us. What was just right? Getting pizza to go and eating in the hotel room.
- Toddler road trip lesson #1: if your kid has been in the car for half a day or at least 2 hours, assume you will not be able to sit in a restaurant for dinner.
- Toddler road trip lesson #2: assume it will take you at least one hour to put your kid to bed after a day on the road, because it will not be the same as his bed at home. And don't plan on him staying there.
He did reasonably well on the trip home, but for some reason I had neglected to pack any toys for him - just a couple stuffed toys and his favorite blankie. So I bought him a Matchbox food truck at the grocery store before we headed out. Worked like a charm for only 99 cents. We even stopped for ice cream about 30 minutes from home, which was a fun diversion and his first experience with an ice cream cone. That was a sweet moment!
- Toddler road trip lesson #3: toys. Just bring 'em.
May 27, 2014
the mother in law comes to visit
Saturday night, my mother-in-law (MIL) flew in to stay with us for two weeks. She is her own person and has a special set of idiosyncrasies, and I love her just the way she is.
On Memorial Day, we broke in a new grill by cooking for her, my mother, and our neighbors across the street whose little girl is the same age as our son. My MIL got a picture of the two of them sitting in my lap, with me smiling down at these two adorable playmates. Watching them romp from room to room, chase each other through the kitchen, and put on my and my husband's shoes prompted me to rename them Bonnie and Clyde. Gonna have to keep an eye on these two!
I also love watching my son play with his grandmas. He adores them both completely and just glows in their affection. I'm also really grateful that they're both retired, and even though my MIL lives two states away she finds cheap air fare to come visit whenever she can. When both grandmas are around, this kid can hardly contain himself with so much joy (and mischief).
Hosting my MIL also comes with the normal challenges of having extra family around, but that isn't too big a deal. She has her own room and bathroom downstairs, so we don't get in each other's way and she doesn't have to worry about the boy waking her up. There are times, however, when I find myself stretched just a little bit by the strength and openness of her opinions. I take them seriously and respect them, and just hope she doesn't get too offended if I don't always follow them. But that is the dynamic nature of a blended family: different communication styles can flourish or flounder. In that case, respect goes a lot further than anything else. When all else fails, we can center on what we have in common: our son and a mutual love for science fiction and astronomy. This kid is destined to be a Star Wars fan.
That reminds me -- I should probably talk to her about acceptable discipline in our house. Probably too late now, since she's taking care of the boy today, but worth mentioning what we've been doing.
On Memorial Day, we broke in a new grill by cooking for her, my mother, and our neighbors across the street whose little girl is the same age as our son. My MIL got a picture of the two of them sitting in my lap, with me smiling down at these two adorable playmates. Watching them romp from room to room, chase each other through the kitchen, and put on my and my husband's shoes prompted me to rename them Bonnie and Clyde. Gonna have to keep an eye on these two!
I also love watching my son play with his grandmas. He adores them both completely and just glows in their affection. I'm also really grateful that they're both retired, and even though my MIL lives two states away she finds cheap air fare to come visit whenever she can. When both grandmas are around, this kid can hardly contain himself with so much joy (and mischief).
Hosting my MIL also comes with the normal challenges of having extra family around, but that isn't too big a deal. She has her own room and bathroom downstairs, so we don't get in each other's way and she doesn't have to worry about the boy waking her up. There are times, however, when I find myself stretched just a little bit by the strength and openness of her opinions. I take them seriously and respect them, and just hope she doesn't get too offended if I don't always follow them. But that is the dynamic nature of a blended family: different communication styles can flourish or flounder. In that case, respect goes a lot further than anything else. When all else fails, we can center on what we have in common: our son and a mutual love for science fiction and astronomy. This kid is destined to be a Star Wars fan.
That reminds me -- I should probably talk to her about acceptable discipline in our house. Probably too late now, since she's taking care of the boy today, but worth mentioning what we've been doing.
August 10, 2013
the tug of war within
This evening, my son was finishing a bit of jello and drinking milk from his sippy cup. Well, that's a tidy way of putting what really happened - he was smashing the jello on his dinner tray and tipping over the sippy cup to get some milk to come out, then watching the puddle explode as he smashed it, then adding more milk, then more puddle smashing... You get the idea.
Normally I whisk everything away saying "All done!" to minimize the mess and to gradually guide him to just stopping or declaring "All done!" when he's finished instead of chucking food and liquids and containers every which way. But today I decided to observe him. I grabbed my phone and shot a quick video. I realized he'd figured out a way to sort of do finger painting with the jello and milk. And it was really kind of cool. Okay, so as soon as I shot the video I cleaned him up and all that, but still.
Now that he's only in day care 3 days a week, I'm starting to see what staying home really looks like. Granted, it's not the real thing. Not really - not when I have the place, and myself, all to myself for three whole days in a row, which most SAHMs don't have the luxury of. But it's starting to feel like... okay, maybe I really could survive this way. Maybe.
There lies my tug of war within.
Who's better off if I go back to work, really? Me? My retirement accounts? Costco?
This afternoon, I came home with the boy from a birthday party and he seemed to be confused as to whom he wanted to hold him. Daddy, then me, then no one, then Daddy... it was a bit awkward. I basically told my husband he needed to spend some dedicated time with our son to make sure that bond stays secure, especially with me spending so much more time with him. It came out a bit more simplistic than that the first time, but we talked about it later.
I want to think that my perfect vision of reality (working part-time until the boy starts school) really is possible. But I don't know that - not yet. I put out feelers, network like crazy, get my website and business networking profile spiffed up. And I wait. In purgatory. While the door of stay-at-home-motherhood creaks open just a bit more.
Meanwhile, I face the possibility of compromising or abandoning my prime earning years as a mid-career professional in my mid-40s (still trying to make peace with that mid-40s thing, but that's another blog post). I'll be the first to admit that I've never really taken my career as seriously as I could have - not until recently. And now that's all being called into question.
Just now I remembered something really important:
Sometime last year, I was at a small group (church) meeting and we were going around the room sharing how we picture Jesus. An image, a representation, what He means to us. I said that I picture myself in a little boat floating on a big ocean with whipping waves and storm clouds - and Jesus is the island in the storm. When, in fact, He's not just the island. He's the boat.
Normally I whisk everything away saying "All done!" to minimize the mess and to gradually guide him to just stopping or declaring "All done!" when he's finished instead of chucking food and liquids and containers every which way. But today I decided to observe him. I grabbed my phone and shot a quick video. I realized he'd figured out a way to sort of do finger painting with the jello and milk. And it was really kind of cool. Okay, so as soon as I shot the video I cleaned him up and all that, but still.
Now that he's only in day care 3 days a week, I'm starting to see what staying home really looks like. Granted, it's not the real thing. Not really - not when I have the place, and myself, all to myself for three whole days in a row, which most SAHMs don't have the luxury of. But it's starting to feel like... okay, maybe I really could survive this way. Maybe.
There lies my tug of war within.
Who's better off if I go back to work, really? Me? My retirement accounts? Costco?
This afternoon, I came home with the boy from a birthday party and he seemed to be confused as to whom he wanted to hold him. Daddy, then me, then no one, then Daddy... it was a bit awkward. I basically told my husband he needed to spend some dedicated time with our son to make sure that bond stays secure, especially with me spending so much more time with him. It came out a bit more simplistic than that the first time, but we talked about it later.
I want to think that my perfect vision of reality (working part-time until the boy starts school) really is possible. But I don't know that - not yet. I put out feelers, network like crazy, get my website and business networking profile spiffed up. And I wait. In purgatory. While the door of stay-at-home-motherhood creaks open just a bit more.
Meanwhile, I face the possibility of compromising or abandoning my prime earning years as a mid-career professional in my mid-40s (still trying to make peace with that mid-40s thing, but that's another blog post). I'll be the first to admit that I've never really taken my career as seriously as I could have - not until recently. And now that's all being called into question.
Just now I remembered something really important:
Sometime last year, I was at a small group (church) meeting and we were going around the room sharing how we picture Jesus. An image, a representation, what He means to us. I said that I picture myself in a little boat floating on a big ocean with whipping waves and storm clouds - and Jesus is the island in the storm. When, in fact, He's not just the island. He's the boat.
July 4, 2013
early morning brain dump - mommy guilt, independence day, and me time
okay, so today's blog is my attempt to empty my brain before the start of the day. it would be a journal entry if i felt like writing by hand, but this is a lot easier.
at about 5:00, i woke up, went to the bathroom, came back to bed, and soon after realized i wasn't going back to sleep. random songs started playing in my head - that's how i know. i could lay there with a pillow over my head, wishing myself back to sleep and listening to my husband snore peacefully, or i could get up and journal, a special me-time activity that happens about as often as i get a pedicure which is regretfully far too rare.
i hear some little bumps - is my son whacking his legs around in the crib? no matter. he'll go back to sleep.
fourth of july. independence day.
oh crap. yup, that's him - just said "HEY." go back to sleep, kid. i swear i'm not making any noise, and his door is shut.
we have no plans for this weekend - well, that's not entirely true. we invited my mom up for breakfast so we have an excuse to make an indecent amount of bacon and eggs fried in coconut oil (i'm gonna make banana bread too - why not?). we're meeting people for happy hour friday, and then joining a friend's birthday party dinner saturday evening before we sneak out for a date. i'm feeling good about it.
yesterday, i didn't feel so good about it. knowing that it would be the four of us for four days, i scheduled a drop-off for our son at daycare for monday. i'm giving myself the day off. i know i desperately need it. i've been slammed at work the last two weeks, and home life is a constant buzz from dawn to dusk. i have a really hard time sleeping anymore, and i know it's anxiety plus too small margins in my life right now. i know it's a season, and one of these days i'll wonder what happened to this little toddler who charms the pants off of me even when he's screaming his head off with tantrum #231.
anyway, guilt set in. i'm a crappy mom. why do i need a day off? what the hell do these stay-at-home moms do - take zanax? i'm sure i would lose my mind if i didn't work, and yet i'm so mentally and physically exhausted i can't help but wonder if i would feel "right" by napping every day when my son naps and scheduling the next play date?
it is what it is. we need what we need.
work is going extremely well. i got a tiny raise - just enough to bump me up to a personal salary milestone. it's humbling. and i'm working better, more efficiently and more effectively than ever. not a week goes by that i don't ask the Lord to give me his strength, and i believe this is his hand in my life because my work life is oddly successful to me. it kind of blows me away that, even though i only work four days a week (and one of them from home), i'm pretty sure i do the work of a regular full-timer. i also learned last week that i may become a client rep - a significant step up from my current role as a person who works alongside a client rep. it's more responsibility, which scares me but only because i'm a bit on the lazy side and am weirdly introverted when it comes to my clients (the group of lab researchers that i edit papers and such for). i realized earlier this year that i really have never taken my career seriously - oh, i'm very good at selling myself and getting good jobs with good companies with increasing amounts of responsibility, but when i get settled into a place i also get bored and restless. good grief, i think this is the first time i've really admitted this. i'm in my 40s and i'm not what you call established. i've figured out how to work things to my advantage and move up a notch every so often, but i've also put a really high priority on putting margins in my personal life and i don't work a single minute of overtime if i don't absolutely have to. for those reasons, how i've managed to be successful in my current job is a bit of a mystery to me.
through an odd turn of events i'm pill-free for the next month. i lost my paper prescription during the temporary move, then they called it in without the generic okay so i couldn't get them (i wasn't going to pay a $50 copay thank you very much). oh well. what's the worst that could happen? hahahahahaha...
i think i'll get a massage monday. the place we like to go is next to a really fabulous french bakery/cafe in a recently gentrified, snobbily high-brow-hipper-than-thou, walkable part of town called the denver highlands. it used to be cool and on the fringe, now it's irritatingly inviting.
damn. he's working himself up to a cry. go back to sleep! time for my second cup of coffee. maybe he pooped and needs a change? it would be cruel to let him stew in it.
i have a calendar print-out with every social circle event happening this summer, which is every single day. this is our church's latest creation - creating opportunities for people to just hang out and have fun together. it's alternating with short-term small groups, which i guess will start in september. we're desperate for social interaction, so we're trying some of them. saturday morning play dates in a park? instant win. friday evening at one of a dozen new nanobreweries? i'm so there.
the boy's early bedtime is a sacrifice for us. it makes it hard to do anything in the evening. but it's totally worth it. we get evening quiet/movie/margin time, he gets a solid 12 hours of sleep (usually). maybe when he's six i'll let him stay up until 8. ha!
i love cooking and meal planning and grocery shopping. i hate walking in the door at 5:30 and realizing i have 30 seconds to make dinner. but i found a recipe for sausage kale soup that i absolutely have to try. i tried kale chips a week ago. my son liked them. i thought they were pretty nasty. i told my girlfriend she needs to make me some kale chips or i may never eat this superfood. it's going into a soup where it can mellow out and be palatable, dancing around with the flavors of italian turkey sausage, mirepoix, and beef broth. sounds good, right?
silence. i think he went back to sleep. thank you, Lord!
we're gonna have some good family time, dammit. i think we'll try to go hiking today before it gets hot. afternoon? indoors somewhere. we have two museum memberships that we never use. i won't bother renewing until the boy's old enough to appreciate them - or when he's old enough to do their kiddie activities, which oddly is not far away. so maybe i better keep them up. ugh. i definitely need to drop the gym membership and switch to punch cards. we rarely go anymore. not worth $48/month.
it's 6:20. i think i'm done dumping my brain. going to sit on the patio and enjoy my second cup of coffee. happy 4th of july!
at about 5:00, i woke up, went to the bathroom, came back to bed, and soon after realized i wasn't going back to sleep. random songs started playing in my head - that's how i know. i could lay there with a pillow over my head, wishing myself back to sleep and listening to my husband snore peacefully, or i could get up and journal, a special me-time activity that happens about as often as i get a pedicure which is regretfully far too rare.
i hear some little bumps - is my son whacking his legs around in the crib? no matter. he'll go back to sleep.
fourth of july. independence day.
oh crap. yup, that's him - just said "HEY." go back to sleep, kid. i swear i'm not making any noise, and his door is shut.
we have no plans for this weekend - well, that's not entirely true. we invited my mom up for breakfast so we have an excuse to make an indecent amount of bacon and eggs fried in coconut oil (i'm gonna make banana bread too - why not?). we're meeting people for happy hour friday, and then joining a friend's birthday party dinner saturday evening before we sneak out for a date. i'm feeling good about it.
yesterday, i didn't feel so good about it. knowing that it would be the four of us for four days, i scheduled a drop-off for our son at daycare for monday. i'm giving myself the day off. i know i desperately need it. i've been slammed at work the last two weeks, and home life is a constant buzz from dawn to dusk. i have a really hard time sleeping anymore, and i know it's anxiety plus too small margins in my life right now. i know it's a season, and one of these days i'll wonder what happened to this little toddler who charms the pants off of me even when he's screaming his head off with tantrum #231.
anyway, guilt set in. i'm a crappy mom. why do i need a day off? what the hell do these stay-at-home moms do - take zanax? i'm sure i would lose my mind if i didn't work, and yet i'm so mentally and physically exhausted i can't help but wonder if i would feel "right" by napping every day when my son naps and scheduling the next play date?
it is what it is. we need what we need.
work is going extremely well. i got a tiny raise - just enough to bump me up to a personal salary milestone. it's humbling. and i'm working better, more efficiently and more effectively than ever. not a week goes by that i don't ask the Lord to give me his strength, and i believe this is his hand in my life because my work life is oddly successful to me. it kind of blows me away that, even though i only work four days a week (and one of them from home), i'm pretty sure i do the work of a regular full-timer. i also learned last week that i may become a client rep - a significant step up from my current role as a person who works alongside a client rep. it's more responsibility, which scares me but only because i'm a bit on the lazy side and am weirdly introverted when it comes to my clients (the group of lab researchers that i edit papers and such for). i realized earlier this year that i really have never taken my career seriously - oh, i'm very good at selling myself and getting good jobs with good companies with increasing amounts of responsibility, but when i get settled into a place i also get bored and restless. good grief, i think this is the first time i've really admitted this. i'm in my 40s and i'm not what you call established. i've figured out how to work things to my advantage and move up a notch every so often, but i've also put a really high priority on putting margins in my personal life and i don't work a single minute of overtime if i don't absolutely have to. for those reasons, how i've managed to be successful in my current job is a bit of a mystery to me.
through an odd turn of events i'm pill-free for the next month. i lost my paper prescription during the temporary move, then they called it in without the generic okay so i couldn't get them (i wasn't going to pay a $50 copay thank you very much). oh well. what's the worst that could happen? hahahahahaha...
i think i'll get a massage monday. the place we like to go is next to a really fabulous french bakery/cafe in a recently gentrified, snobbily high-brow-hipper-than-thou, walkable part of town called the denver highlands. it used to be cool and on the fringe, now it's irritatingly inviting.
damn. he's working himself up to a cry. go back to sleep! time for my second cup of coffee. maybe he pooped and needs a change? it would be cruel to let him stew in it.
i have a calendar print-out with every social circle event happening this summer, which is every single day. this is our church's latest creation - creating opportunities for people to just hang out and have fun together. it's alternating with short-term small groups, which i guess will start in september. we're desperate for social interaction, so we're trying some of them. saturday morning play dates in a park? instant win. friday evening at one of a dozen new nanobreweries? i'm so there.
the boy's early bedtime is a sacrifice for us. it makes it hard to do anything in the evening. but it's totally worth it. we get evening quiet/movie/margin time, he gets a solid 12 hours of sleep (usually). maybe when he's six i'll let him stay up until 8. ha!
i love cooking and meal planning and grocery shopping. i hate walking in the door at 5:30 and realizing i have 30 seconds to make dinner. but i found a recipe for sausage kale soup that i absolutely have to try. i tried kale chips a week ago. my son liked them. i thought they were pretty nasty. i told my girlfriend she needs to make me some kale chips or i may never eat this superfood. it's going into a soup where it can mellow out and be palatable, dancing around with the flavors of italian turkey sausage, mirepoix, and beef broth. sounds good, right?
silence. i think he went back to sleep. thank you, Lord!
we're gonna have some good family time, dammit. i think we'll try to go hiking today before it gets hot. afternoon? indoors somewhere. we have two museum memberships that we never use. i won't bother renewing until the boy's old enough to appreciate them - or when he's old enough to do their kiddie activities, which oddly is not far away. so maybe i better keep them up. ugh. i definitely need to drop the gym membership and switch to punch cards. we rarely go anymore. not worth $48/month.
it's 6:20. i think i'm done dumping my brain. going to sit on the patio and enjoy my second cup of coffee. happy 4th of july!
October 8, 2012
how to spend time with a baby
Today my husband took the day off as a comp from his job for his birthday (which was over the weekend). So we decreed today "family day." Not that we had any specific plans. I mean, with a baby you can only get so far with making plans.
Morning was rough. The boy woke up shortly after 5 and we laid in bed waiting for him to go back to sleep (which he usually does). Finally at 6 something it was time to call it a day so we made coffee, and he was way too crabby/hungry to wait for that 7 a.m. feeding so I fed him at 6:30. Naptime was at 8 as we slogged more coffee, trying to decide on an agenda for the day. We thought of some errands to run and packed up. In a fit of desperation at our perpetually dirty home, we also did a bit of housecleaning. Not too much though - this is family day, remember? LOL
That sounds easy. It's not. It's pretty damn exhausting, getting ready to get out of the house with a baby. Formula? Dispenser? Bottles? Blanket? Towels? Diapers? Extra toy? Jackets? You need to have your shit together if you're going to be gone for more than an hour or so - a lesson every parent learns the hard way at least once.
So we ran some errands, chilled out at my mom's to feed him (which is really nice to be able to do now that's she's retired, not to mention giving her a little extra baby time), then headed to a park to give him his noon nap while we walked around a lake. That was a good walk - just not long enough for his whole nap. Then again, I don't think I could have walked for two hours. One was acceptable. Acceptable enough, in fact, that I was lucky enough to get this pic from the boy:
Stopped at Ta.rget (my second home now that I have a baby) for formula etc., then came home and fed the boy again. Sat on the couch with a beer, the three of us, and just watched him play with his bottle lid. Played peekaboo with one of his little towels. Before I knew it another half hour had passed.
Sometimes I get nervous, wondering what we'll do between the afternoon nap and his bedtime. The good thing is, he's ridiculously easy to entertain (and is fairly good at entertaining himself) and my worry is for naught.
Oh - now it's almost 5 and we'll give him some solids. Nighttime bottle is about 6:15, bedtime by 7, happy hour at 7:01. Yup. That's about the size of it.
Morning was rough. The boy woke up shortly after 5 and we laid in bed waiting for him to go back to sleep (which he usually does). Finally at 6 something it was time to call it a day so we made coffee, and he was way too crabby/hungry to wait for that 7 a.m. feeding so I fed him at 6:30. Naptime was at 8 as we slogged more coffee, trying to decide on an agenda for the day. We thought of some errands to run and packed up. In a fit of desperation at our perpetually dirty home, we also did a bit of housecleaning. Not too much though - this is family day, remember? LOL
That sounds easy. It's not. It's pretty damn exhausting, getting ready to get out of the house with a baby. Formula? Dispenser? Bottles? Blanket? Towels? Diapers? Extra toy? Jackets? You need to have your shit together if you're going to be gone for more than an hour or so - a lesson every parent learns the hard way at least once.
So we ran some errands, chilled out at my mom's to feed him (which is really nice to be able to do now that's she's retired, not to mention giving her a little extra baby time), then headed to a park to give him his noon nap while we walked around a lake. That was a good walk - just not long enough for his whole nap. Then again, I don't think I could have walked for two hours. One was acceptable. Acceptable enough, in fact, that I was lucky enough to get this pic from the boy:
Stopped at Ta.rget (my second home now that I have a baby) for formula etc., then came home and fed the boy again. Sat on the couch with a beer, the three of us, and just watched him play with his bottle lid. Played peekaboo with one of his little towels. Before I knew it another half hour had passed.
Sometimes I get nervous, wondering what we'll do between the afternoon nap and his bedtime. The good thing is, he's ridiculously easy to entertain (and is fairly good at entertaining himself) and my worry is for naught.
Oh - now it's almost 5 and we'll give him some solids. Nighttime bottle is about 6:15, bedtime by 7, happy hour at 7:01. Yup. That's about the size of it.
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